We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Wife's Diagnosis

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because the woman is complaining of shortness of breath. After fifteen minutes, the woman comes out into the waiting room. "Apparently, my problem is that I have a nice cooter." "Excuse me?" says the husband. "That's what the doctor said. My problem is that I have a nice cooter." The husband is a bit angry and goes in to talk to the doctor. "What's this about my wife having a nice cooter? I need a damn good explanation." "That's not what I said," says the doctor. "I said she has acute angina."

A Stuttering Problem

A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: 'It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering. Patient: Dddoctttor . Whhaaat cccan I dddo? (Doctor what can I do?) The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing the six inches from the penis and freeing him from this horrible problem. The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment as well as loss of employment that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his check up. Patient: "Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem, my wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches. The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and says:I dddoonnn't ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble.

Don't Stand Up!

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor of the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went up to Cedar Point on the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes." "What did it say?" "Don't stand up in the car!"

You need an operation!

A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff and I don't smell anything. "The doctor examines her and then says, "You need an operation."  She asks, "On my vagina?"  He says, "No. On your nose!"

Snack Coins

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, the nurse replied, "No change yet!"