Disease / Afflictions Jokes - Going to Die Jokes

Terrible Doctor Check Up

A man goes to the doctor and gets a check up. The doctor finishes the exam and tells the man, "I have some bad news, you only have about two weeks left to live." The man is shocked. He asks the doctor, "Is there is any thing that you can do to make the time that I have left more tolerable?" The doctor thinks for a moment. "There is one thing that you could do." "Just name it, I'll do whatever it is." He tells the man to take a lot of mud baths, two or three a day. The man looks at his doctor asks, "Will that help my condition?" The doctor says, "No, but it will get you used to the dirt."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes)
Anonymous

Used Brain

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it's the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, "$100,000 for a male brain, and $1000 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask: "Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group: "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes)
Anonymous

What If My Temperature Goes Up

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Going to Die Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
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Anonymous