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The best jokes and joke writers!

Medical Miracles

There's more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040 there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Charlie Wins

With all the negativity in the world today... 

...at least Charlie Sheen is staying positive.

Lice

Q: What do you call lice on a bald man's head?
A: Homeless.

Spooky Love

There is an old colonial cemetery where the grave markers are flat.  A man and woman sneak in there one night after a Halloween party to make love.  The next day the woman is complaining of a terrible back ache, so she goes to see her doctor.  The doctor asks her to put on a gown and examines her back but finds nothing wrong.  He asks her how old she is, and she says 28.  The doctor says that's interesting because it says on your ass that you died in 1784.

Monster Ache

Q: Why was Frankenstein's Monster always groaning?

A: Wouldn't you if there was a bolt through your neck?