Strokes

Apparently the 'Stroke Ward' in a hospital isn't a human petting zoo.

Don't Stand Up!

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor of the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went up to Cedar Point on the weekend and decided to take a ride on the roller coaster. As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes." "What did it say?" "Don't stand up in the car!"

Miracle

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what’s the problem?" The mother says, "It’s my daughter Darla, she keeps getting these cravings, she’s putting on weight and is sick most mornings." The doctor gives Darla a good examination then turns to the mother and says, "Well, I don’t know how to tell you this but your Darla is pregnant - about 4 months would be my guess." The mother says, "Pregnant?! She can’t be, she has never ever been left alone with a man! Have you Darla?" Darla says, "No mother! I’ve never even kissed a man!" The doctor walks over to the window and just stares out it. About five minutes pass and finally the mother says, "Is there something wrong out there doctor?" The doctor replies, "No, not really, it’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the east and three wise men came over the hill. I’ll be darned if I’m going to miss it this time!"