Two Boys Visit Doctor

Two boys are in a doctor's office and one turns to the other and says, "What are you doing here?" The first kid says, "Well, I'm getting my tonsils out." The other kid says, "I had that done. Don't worry, it's not that bad. You get to lay around the house, eat ice cream and not have to talk to anyone." Then the other kid says, "That's good to know. What are you doing here?" The first kid replies, "I'm getting circumcised." The other kid responds, "Oh man, I had that done and it took me a year to learn to walk!"

Blockbuster Video Lessons

There was a guy who worked for Blockbuster video. He found it to be a great but complicated job. One day he was at the register and a older man came in and asked if he could buy a phone card. So the guy gave him a card, and he wrote him a check for $39.80. He then told him that it was 20 cents short, so he gave him 2 dimes. Unfortunately, when he typed this into the computer, he missed the period on the keyboard and it came up as 20 dollars. That night, the manager said that he was $19.80 short. The manager thought the guy had stolen it, so he fired him immediately. And the moral to this story is: "Guys get in trouble over missed periods."

Italian Pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.  Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.  Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem."  "I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.  I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life."

"Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account."
"If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account."
"If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each."
"However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him
"You a gonna try again!"