Man With No Arms.

One day, a man with no arms walked into the bathroom. Another man that was in there, asked, "I don't mean to be rude sir, but how to you go to the bathroom with no arms?" The guys with no arms replied, "Well I need a little help, could you unzip my pants?" The other guys reluctantly says, "sure." The guy with no arms says, "I need a little more help than that, I need some aim. Would you mind?" The guy, very reluctant to do it this time said, "Sure, I guess." When the guy pulled out the mans penis, there was red pustules and blisters and hair all over it. The man preceded to help the man out. When the man with no arms was finished. The other man asked him, "I don't mean to be rude, but what was all over your penis?" The man then replied, as he pulled his arms out his shirt, "I don't know but I sure as hell ain't touching it!"

Love and Herpes

Q:  What the difference between true love and herpes?
A:  Herpes lasts forever

Public Speaking

Recently our speaker had to discontinue several of his long talks on account of his throat. Several people threatened to cut it. You have heard it said before that this speaker needs no introduction. Well, I have heard him and he needs all the introduction he can get. Our speaker needs no introduction. What he needs is a conclusion. Our speaker will not bore you with a long speech...he can do it with a short one. You've been a wonderful audience... you stayed.