Q: Why don't blind people like to skydive?
A: It scares the shit out of the dog!
Q: Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?
A: In blind spots.
Helen Keller's Speech Impediment
Q: What was Helen Keller's speech impediment?
Selling The Green Suit
A man who isn't qualified keeps pestering this tailor about giving him a job selling suits. Finally, the owner tells him if he can sell this one green suit he will give him a job. Another employee points out to owner that they have had that suit on the rack for four years, and that it is such an ugly, green suit that nobody would ever buy it. The owner replies, "Yah, I know. That's my way of getting rid of that pest!" Two hours later the new guy calls his boss for his next assignment. The owner cannot believe it and heads down to the store to see how this fellow did it. Upon arrival he sees his new salesman bleeding, scratched, and his clothes torn in several places, but smiling. "Congratulations, the job is yours! Nobody has come close to selling that old, ugly, green suit. But tell me, what in the world happened to you?" "Well, replied the salesman, the guy that bought the suit loved it... said it fit him great. As far as my injuries go, he had this really sensitive seeing-eye dog!"
Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is pushing 300, 6'5", and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."