Doctor Visit

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. The Doctor says, "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" The biker replies, "Yes, Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with big blue hair!"

Hold Back

People always told me my dyslexia would hold me back and I'd never be any good at poetry.
But they couldn't be more wrong. So far I've made two jugs and a vase.

Can't Feel My Legs

A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries - "DOC, DOC... I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!" "Well of course you can't silly!" replies the Doc... "I've cut off both of your arms."