Wife to a Fortuneteller
A woman visits a fortuneteller who tells her, "Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, the woman takes a few deep breaths, steadies her voice and asks, "Will I be acquitted?"
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice... except for Chris Brown.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you... but it's still on the list.
Q: What happened when Snoopy found out his girl cheated on him?
A: He bitch-slapped her.
Q: Did you hear about Tempura House?
A: It's a shelter for lightly battered women.