Sun Lakes

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Sun Lakes, an Arizona Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?"
He replies, "I lived here years ago."
"So, where were you all these years?"
"In prison, he says."
"Why did they put you in prison?"
He looked at her, and very quietly said, "I killed my wife."
"Oh!" said the woman. "So you're single... ?!"

Smith Brothers

The last heir of the Smith Brothers cough drop empire recently died.
There'll be no coffin at his funeral.

Does Work Kill

People always say that hard work never killed anybody. Oh yeah? When's the last time ya ever heard of anyone who "rested to death".