Pop Culture / Celebrity Jokes

Eclectic collection of funny jokes about your favorite celebrity. Great stories and one-liners about Boy Bands, Chuck Norris, Paparazzi, Rehab and Discovery Channel Shark Week, Jussie Smollett.

Star Wars Remastered

The Top 15 Surprises in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"
15.  New scene in which Chewbacca teaches Han Solo how to lick himself.
14.  He might not sound as fearsome as before, but that Primatene Mist of Darth Vader's seems to have helped his breathing immensely
13.  Added scene in which Tonya Harding whacks Princess Lea on the knee with a light saber.
12.  Luke accused of killing ex-wife and advised by Obi Wan to "Use the Fifth, Luke."
11.  The commercial tie-in appearance of Jabba's big brother, Pizza the Hut.
10.  Newly-colorized Darth Vader is mauve.
9.  C3PO has a conspicuous "Intel Inside" sticker on his shiny brass ass.
8.  Han, Luke, Obi-Wan and C3PO now sporting bitchin' goatees.
7.  New scene where Luke shakes JFK's hand and tells him he has to pee.
6.  Jabba the Butt-head saying, "Hehe...hehe...she said, 'Lay ya.'"
5.  Revealing scene in the bathroom shows how "Han Solo" got his name.
4.  During one lonely night, Princess Lea finds R2D2's special attachment.
3.  Anti-fur activists from planet PETA spray Chewbacca with red paint.
2.  The X-Wing pilot who blows up the Death Star? Richard Jewell.
And the Number 1 Surprise in the Re-Mastered "Star Wars"...
1.  Dismembered victim of Obi-Wan Kenobi's light saber in bar scene none other than John Wayne Bobbitt.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Nike Ad

I’m not surprised Nike’s stock fell after the Colin Kaepernick ad.
They should have picked a more stand-up guy.

Anonymous

More Computer Viruses

Tipper Gore Virus : When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
Warren Commission Virus : Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
David Duke Virus : Makes your screen go completely white.
Pat Buchanan Virus : Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.
Warren Beatty Virus : Constantly tries to prove its virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.
PBS Virus : Your PC stops what it's doing every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus : Nobody can find it.
Kevorkian Virus : Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
LAPD Virus : It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defense."
Billy Graham Virus : When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the screen.
Michael Jackson Virus : Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous