How Many Blondes Does It Take...

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Blonde Prostitute

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Play Pens

Mary Simpson was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that pen with a good book and the kids don't bother me one bit!" By the way - Mary is blonde.