Blonde - Donations
A blonde, brunette, and red-head went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps. The blonde throws up her money, and yells, "God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep!"
Blonde - Movie
Q: Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?
A: They heard that those under seventeen weren't admitted!
Blonde - License
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Message To Mom
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. The man tells her it will be $300. She exclaims, "I don't have any money, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland!!!"
To that the man asks, "Anything??"
And the blonde says, "Yes, anything!!"
With that, the man says, "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door."
She does. He then says, "Get on your knees."
She does. He then says, "Take down my zipper."
She does. He then says, "Go ahead, take it out."
With that she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands. The man then says, "Well, go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips, she says, "Hello...Mom?"
The Blonde and the Corn Flakes
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it's a jigsaw puzzle!