The Blonde and the Corn Flakes
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it's a jigsaw puzzle!
Blonde - License
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
The Blonde Handywoman
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari!"
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN?
A: Because she didn't know which one came first!
Blonde Phone Number
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she called me to get my phone number.