The Proposition

The man at the bar, deep in private thoughts of his own, turned to a woman just passing and said, "Pardon me miss, do you happen to have the time?" In a strident voice, she responded, "How dare you make such a proposition to me!" The man snapped to attention in surprise and was uncomfortably aware that every pair of eyes in the place had turned to his direction. He mumbled, "I just asked for the time, miss." In an even louder voice, the woman shrieked, "I will call the police if you say another word!!" Grabbing his drink and embarrassed very nearly to death, the man hastened to the far end of the room and huddled at a table, holding his breath and wondering how soon he could sneak out the door. Not more than half a minute later, the woman joined him. In a quiet voice, she said, "I'm terribly sorry to have embarrassed you, but I am a psychologist and I am studying the reaction of human beings to shocking statements." The man stared at her for five seconds, then he leaned back and bellowed, "You'd do all that for me all night long for just two dollars?! What's that?...You'd do it to every guy in this bar for just another ten dollars?!"

What's Your Name?

A gent spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself, she answered. "Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men. What's your name?" He thought for a moment and said, BJ, BJ Titsengolf.

Serving Lawyers

A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here? "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my' gator."