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The best jokes and joke writers!

Natural Major

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A: A natural major.

Composer Fruit

Q: What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

A: Ba-na-na-NAAA.

Clinton's Favorite Instrument

Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite instrument?

A: The WhoreMonica!

Phone Songs

All of the following songs may be played on a touch-tone phone. Commas are pauses, and hyphens are held notes.

  • Mary Had A Little Lamb- 3212333, 222, 399, 3212333322321 or3212333, 222, 133, 3212333322321
  • Jingle Bells- 333, 333, 39123, 666-663333322329, 333, 333, 39123, 666-6633, 399621
  • Frere Jacques- 1231, 1231, 369, 369, 9*9631, 9*9631, 111, 111
  • Olympic Fanfare- 3-9-91231, 2222-32112312, 3-9-91231, 2222-32112321
  • The Butterfly Song- 963, 23621, 3693236236932362, 963, 23621
  • Happy Birthday- 112, 163, 112, 196, 110, 8521, 008, 121

Flat Major

Q: What do you say after you run an army officer over with a steam roller?

A: See flat major.