Louvre in Dire Straits
Due to the flooding from the Seine River, The Louvre museum in Paris is scrambling to donate French Impressionist and Eastern European artwork to any museum that can keep them dry.
Museums that have agreed to take the artwork are very excited since they're getting Monet for nothing and Czechs for free.
Reggae Bands and Virgins
Q: What do reggae bands and virgins have in common?
A: They both have hymen!
Q: Why didn't Tom Petty open his parachute?
A: Because he was Free Falling.
Where are We?
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"
Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, sir!"
I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.
Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.