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The best jokes and joke writers!

All Star

I listened to All Star so many times it gave me tinnitus.

Now, my ears start humming and they don't stop humming.

Local Concert

Last month, the local orchestra decided to play Beethoven's 9th symphony. However, it being quite hot, the players were working up quite a sweat, until a neighbor let them use the ventilators in her house. However, the wind from these ventilators was causing the notes to blow all over the place, so they had to tie them down to the note holders. The din from the ventilators was so bad that the bassists decided it didn't matter if they downed a few drinks and got royally drunk. Two of the bassists got so drunk that they pass out. One of the violinists, in disgust, decided to go home but slipped and fell. Thus, it was the bottom of the 9th, the bassists were loaded, the score was tied with two men out, and the fans were roaring wild when one of the players slid home.

Reggae Bands and Virgins

Q: What do reggae bands and virgins have in common?
A: They both have hymen!

Petty Drop

Q: Why didn't Tom Petty open his parachute?

A: Because he was Free Falling.

Loud Clarinet?

Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?

A: You can almost hear them.