A Flute's Perfect Pitch

Q: What is perfect pitch on a flute?
A: When it misses the rim of the toilet as you throw it in.

Violin Barb

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Viola and Trampoline

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.