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The best jokes and joke writers!

Familiar Feel

Two old friends who love to push each other's buttons are in a bar, drinking. One reaches over and feels the other's bald head. "Good God! This feels just like my wife's ass!" The man whose head it is runs his hand over it, too.
"So it does! So it does!"

Be Politically Correct With Men

  • He does not have a FAT BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
  • He is not a CRAP DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
  • He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
  • He does not SLEEP AROUND - He is HORIZONTALLY OVER-GENEROUS.
  • He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
  • He is not a CRADLE SNATCHER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
  • He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
  • He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He is a SWINE EMPATHIZING BIGOT.
  • He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
  • He does not STINK - He has HYGIENE AVERSION SYNDROME.
  • He is not a GROPING PERVERT - He suffers from COMPULSIVE HAND MOVEMENT DISORDER.
  • He is not OBSESSED WITH TELEVISED SPORTS - He has AN ATHLETIC TELEVISUAL ADDICTION.
  • He does not IGNORE YOU - He has ATTENTION SPAN DEFICIT DISORDER.
  • He is not a LAZY, MESSY SLOB - He LACKS HAND-VACUUM COORDINATION.
  • He does not tell ENDLESS, BORING, UNFUNNY JOKES - He is HUMORLY OVER-CONFIDENT.
  • He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

Hiding Baldness

Q: What happens when a man tries to hide his baldness by combing his hair across his head?

A: The truth comes shining through.

Yo Daddy Is So Bald

Yo daddy is so bald, when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a broken condom.

Being Bald

If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker. If he is bald at the back, he is sexy. If he is bald from front to back - he thinks he is sexy.