Ugly Dresses

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"

A Blonde's First Wish

A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside. He says, "I will grant you three wishes." The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear." The genie replies, "Your wish is my command." Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"

Yo Mama - Tidal Wave

Yo mama so fat, when she wears blue, she looks like a tidal wave.