Animal Jokes - Chicken & Cross-the-Road Jokes

A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city life, move to the country, and become a chicken farmer. He found a nice, used chicken farm, which he bought. Turns out that his next door neighbor was also a chicken farmer. The neighbor came for a visit one day and said, "Chicken farming isn't easy. Tell you what. To help you get started, I'll give you 100 chickens." The new chicken farmer was thrilled. Two weeks later the new neighbor stopped by to see how things were going. The new farmer said, "Not too good. All 100 chickens died." The neighbor said, "Oh, I can't believe that. I've never had any trouble with my chickens. I'll give you 100 more." Another two weeks went by, and the neighbor stops in again. The new farmer says, "You're not going to believe this, but the second 100 chickens died too." Astounded, the neighbor asked, "what went wrong? What did you do to them?" "Well, says the new farmer, "I'm not sure whether I'm planting them too deep or not far apart enough."

Q: What does an alarm cluck say?

A: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo!"

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

A: He was dead

Q:  Why did the chicken fall out of the tree?

A:  He was glued to the monkey.

Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?

A: Peer pressure.

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car followed by a large cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, and rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him" ."Suit yourself,"  the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."

Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

A: An eggroll!