The Bear and The Rabbit

A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes." The bear says "I wish that all of the bears in the forest were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a motorcycle." **POOF** It is done. The bear says "I wish all the bears in this country were females." **POOF** It is done.The rabbit says "I wish for a lifetime supply of carrots back at my house." **POOF** It is done. The bear thought to himself "Why is the rabbit wasting his wishes on stupid small things?" Finally, the bear says "For my third wish, I wish that all the bears in the world were female." **POOF** It is done. The rabbit says "For MY last wish, I wish for the bear to be gay" and he rode off on his motorcycle.

Monkey Money

Once upon a time in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort. The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching. The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so sparse that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf. While the man was away the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.' The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw the man nor his assistant again and once again there were monkeys everywhere. Now you know how the stock market works.

Chef's Special

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish. The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more scrumptious. The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?" And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always win!"