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My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle. "I love you Freddy," she said, stroking his fur. "I love him more than you," I replied. She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most." I said, "You misunderstood me."

Owe Yo Mama

How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.

Brother-in-law Went to the Doctor

My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm.
The Dr said "which position do you use?"
"Doggy style," said dumb shit.
"Why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see if that works any better." said the Dr.
"We've tried that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"