Famous Movie Star

"You remind me of a famous movie star." "Really? Which one?" "Lassie."

Waxed Floor

When to visit my friend the other day
He told me to make myself at home but stay out of the kitchen, the floor just got waxed and is a little slippery. I look over and see his two dogs running and falling over on the kitchen floor so I ask what is up with those two. He looks over and says with a smile.
"Them bitches be trippin"

Dog Rules

The dog is not allowed in the house.
Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
The dog is allowed in all rooms but has to stay off the furniture.
The dog can get on the old furniture only.
Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only by invitation.
The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only
The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.