No Fishing

A man is fishing next to a No Fishing sign and sees a Sheriff coming his direction. He hides his fishing rod, and silently watches the water:
Good morning, officer, is it something wrong? Sheriff, "The sign says No Fishing, can't you read?" Man, "I'm not fishing sir, why would you think that?" Sheriff, "Because you have a bucket full of fish." Man, "Oh, that! Those fish are my pets, I take them here for a swim and when I whistle and they come back, jump back to the bucket and we go home." Sheriff, "Okay, show me."
The man proceeds to empty the bucket with the fish into the water, and waits.
(awkward silence)
Sheriff, "So...Are you going to call the fish?"
Man, "What fish?"

Dog Comedian

Q: Who is a dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

Snakeskin Punny

Q: What kind of condoms do snakes use?
A: Anacondoms!