Mongoose

The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."
Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

The Dead Dog

There's a man and his wife who own a pub, and have a dog called Fido, who's 24. One day the dog tragically dies, and they bury him but keep his tail separate as a memorial. That night, the man hears a strange noise and rushes downstairs to find the dog's ghost, demanding for his tail back. The man was just about to give the tail back when the wife rushed down and said "Don't give it back! Don't give it back!'' "Why?" asked the man. "You're not allowed to retail spirits after 12:00!"

Ducks on Honeymoon

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms. The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?'' ''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''