Green and Red

Q: What is green and red and goes 100 miles an hour?
A: A frog in a blender.

Colored Elephant

Q: Why did the elephant paint himself all different colors?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box.

Experimental Surgery

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There's really nothing I can do for you except if you're willing to try an experimental treatment." Jack asks sadly, "What is this treatment?" "Well," the doctor explains, "what we would do is take the muscles from the trunk of a baby elephant and implant them in your penis." Jack thinks about it silently then says, "Well the thought of going through life without ever having sex again is too much, lets go for it." A few weeks after the operation Jack was given the green light to use his improved equipment. He planned a romantic evening for his girl friend and took her to one of the nicest restaurants in the city. In the middle of dinner he felt a stirring between his legs that continued to the point of being uncomfortable. To release the pressure Jack unzipped his fly. His penis immediately sprung from his pants, went to the top of the table, grabbed a dinner roll and then returned to his pants. His girl friend was stunned at first but then said with a sly smile, "That was incredible! Can you do that again?" Jack replied, "Well, I guess so, but I'm not sure I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!"