Female Elephant

Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"

Waxed Floor

When to visit my friend the other day
He told me to make myself at home but stay out of the kitchen, the floor just got waxed and is a little slippery. I look over and see his two dogs running and falling over on the kitchen floor so I ask what is up with those two. He looks over and says with a smile.
"Them bitches be trippin"

Makes You Think

• I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
• What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?
• If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
• I intend to live forever -- so far, so good!
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.