The Snake and the Truck

There once was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. When the snake went back to get its ass, a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, "Don't lose your head over a piece of ass!"

Cat and Gorilla

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
A: An animal that puts you out at night!

Counting Sheep

An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it."