Does This Hurt

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, don't do that.

Dentist Vs Brain Surgeon

Q: How do dentists become brain surgeons?
A: When their drills slip.

Growing Manhood

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife. But after several weeks his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches. Ralph became quite concerned, so he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the physician explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be cured through corrective surgery. "How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously. "Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor. "Well," said the wife coldly, "You ARE planning to lengthen Ralph's legs, aren't you?"