You Hear It Too?

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, he too put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"

Subtract Ten

There once was a doctor who was so conceited about his looks and charm that whenever he took a woman's pulse, he subtracted 10 beats to account for her being excited near him.

Where's My Pen

A doctor pulls out a thermometer from his shirt pocket. He looks at it and says, "Shit, some asshole has my pen!!!"