Logger to Alaska

Q: Did you hear about the logger that went to Alaska?
A: He came back a husky f**ker.

Laser Physicists

Old Laser Physicists never die, they just become incoherent.

A Dumb Thief

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honor," he said, "I wanna get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole.