American University Grading Procedures

DEPT OF STATISTICS: - All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: - Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY: - All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELEGION: - Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: - What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL: - Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: - Grades are variable.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: - If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT: - Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: - Everybody gets an A.

Lawyer And Trampoline

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You should take your work boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Family Problems

Q: My doctor asked if anyone in my family is suffering from mental illness...
A: I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it”.