Sewage, Oh no

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.  Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.  A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.  The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

Honest Lawyers

Q: What do you call an honest lawyer?
A: An oxymoron.

Finish The Job

An old lady rushed into the police department and claimed she was raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that he was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, "All he could say was, 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."