The Local District Judge

The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drinking. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?", asked the Judge, surprised by the man's responsed.  "Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"

Old Math Teachers

Old math teachers never die, they just reduce to lowest term.

Dentist and Manicurist

Q: Did you hear about the dentist who married a manicurist?
A: They fight tooth and nail!