Light Bulb Changing

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1, plus or minus 4 due to small sample size.

You Know You're a Teacher If...

• You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
• You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."
• You believe "shallow gene pool" should have it's own box on the report card.
• You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.
• When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behavior.
• When you mention "vegetables" and you're not talking about a food group.
• You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
• You wonder how some parents even managed to reproduce.
• You can't have children of your own, because there is no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.
• You really encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.

Patient & Doctor

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a bridge.
Doctor: What's comes over you?
Patient: 2 trucks, 4 vans and 8 cars