Catfish vs. Lawyer

Q: What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: Ones a gross dirty slimy scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and ones a fish...

You've Changed My Mind

Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"
Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."

First Aid Course

When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A women was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her aside. 'Step aside, lady,' he barked. 'I've taken a course in first-aid!' The women watched for a few minutes, then tapped him on the shoulder. 'Pardon me,' she said. 'But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm right here.'