American Lawyers

Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland

She Said, He Said

She said, "Kiss me doctor!" Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."

Looking Im-potent.

This guy goes to the doctor for a vasectomy. Unlike the usual patients, he shows up in a limo, and he's sitting in the doctor's office in a rented tuxedo with black tie. The doctor says, "I've done a lot of these, but I've never seen a limo and tuxedo before. What's the story?" To which the fellow responds, "If I'm gonna BE im-potent, I'm gonna LOOK im-potent!"