Common Brands Condom Style

• Nike Condoms: Just do it.
• Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
• Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, its that simple.
• California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
• McDonalds Condom: One Billion Served.
• Energizer Condom: It keeps going and going and going...
• Bandai Condoms: Action Satisfaction.

Geology Word Plays

If you are a real geologist, you probably enjoy transferring geology vocabulary into everyday situations. For example, if you agree with what someone has said, you may say, "You breccia!" or "My sediments exactly!" And if you are not pleased with the person's statement, you may resort to the old: "That's not gneiss!"

Six times Six

A woman goes into a bar real depressed and uses her last 10 dollars to buy a drink. All of a sudden she gets an idea that she knows will solve her problems. She takes her change and goes to the man at the end of the bar and says, "Mister, I'm broke and my landlord said if I don't give him the rent money first thing in the morning, I'm out of a place to live. I'll bet you my last five dollars that I can come up with a rhyme that you can't come up with a reply to." The man wanting to help her says ok go ahead. So she tells him, "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine. I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine." The man scratches his head and says, "your right, I can't top that," and he pays her the five dollars. Then she goes to the next man and the next until she has beat every man in the bar. So she goes to the next bar and starts betting 100 at a time. She does this at every bar on the block until she has 3,000 dollars. Deciding thats enough she heads for home. On her way she meets a bum in an alley and decides to have a little fun. So she tells the bum that she will bet her 3,000 dollars against his bottle of booze that she can tell him a ryhme to which he cant come up with a reply. The bum figures what the heck and says "your on." "Six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can tell the length of yours but you can't tell the depth of mine." The bum sits back, thinks for a minute and says "six times six is thirty-six and three is thirty-nine, I can piss in yours but you can't piss in mine!!"