Red Cross Cat

Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!

Trucks And Babies

Q: What do a Kenworth semi-truck and a test tube baby have in common?
A: Neither one's Peterbilt.

G's Business Lines

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly
Goldenstern's Rules: 1. Always hire a rich attorney. 2. Never buy from a rich salesman.
Golden Rule Of Arts And Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
Gordian Maxim: If a string has one end, it has another.
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
Gordon's Object Lifespan Theorem: No matter the amount of care given the purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three days of warranty expiration.
Gordon's Warranty Law: All warranty clauses expires upon bill payment.