Travel Jokes - Car Trip Jokes

A rich guy from the north is driving his Lincoln Continental down to New Orleans. Along the way he picks up a redneck.

The redneck looks quizzically at the dash board and says, "What aret hose thangs?"

The driver says, "Those are golf tees."

The redneck asks, "What those are for?"

The driver says "Those hold  my balls when I drive."

The redneck says, "Sheeit, these Lincolns sure come with everythang!"

Q: Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?

A: It had a nervous breakdown!

A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asks for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? Officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car the the car in back of me."

You might be a redneck if you drive a rusted out pickup, with a chrome balespike.

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn around before it's too late!" "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"