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The best jokes and joke writers!

Answering Machine - Space Time Continuum

A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future.

Answering Machine - Vancouver

Vancouver Coast Guard, may I help you. (Caller thinks that he/she accidentally dialed long distance. 

Answering Machine - Mr. Rogers

Imitating Mr. Rogers: Hello. I'm in the Neighborhood of Make Believe right now, so I can't come to the phone. Can you leave your name and number when you hear the sound of the tone? Sure... I knew you could. 

Answering Machine - As-Is Condition

You have reached 934-2435. We picked this machine up at a garage sale in "as-is" condition. You can try to leave a message on it, but we are not sure it will be recorded. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work.

Answering Machine - Hypnotized

You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.