Computer Related Bumper Stickers

1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
2. <-------- The information went data way
3. The name is Baud...James Baud.
4. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
5. Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
6. C:V> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no stinking backups.
9. E Pluribus Modem
10. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
11. Ethernet: something used to catch the etherbunny
12. CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/N)?
13. 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
14. Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
15. SENILE.COM found; Out Of Memory
16. RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
17. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
18. COFFEE.EXE Missing- Insert Cup and Press Any Key
19. ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
20. E-mail returned to sender - insufficient voltage. 
21. Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
22. "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
23. Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
24. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
25. REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)
26. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
27. Hit any user to continue.
28. Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
29. Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
30. (A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

New Computer Viruses Discovered!

This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the national system.
Beware of:
THE CLINTON Virus.... Gives you a 6 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
THE LEWINSKY virus... Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
THE RONALD REAGAN virus... Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
THE MIKE TYSON virus.... Quits after two bytes.
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to stabilize around 200mb.
THE JACK KAVORKIAN virus... Deletes all old files.
THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... Disks can no longer be inserted
THE PROZAC virus.. Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus.. Only attacks minor files.
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
...and last but not least...
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.

Facebook Post

I was offered sex today with a 21 year old girl. In exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I'm a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.