Sports Jokes - Hunting Jokes

Q: What did one skunk say to the other skunk when the hunter came over the hill with a gun?

A: Let us spray.

A city boy was visiting the country and wanted to go hunting. The farmer lent the boy his gun, telling him not to kill any farm animals. The city boy headed off and soon after saw a goat. He managed to creep into range and finally shot it. Not knowing anything about animals, the boy didn't know what he'd killed so he ran to the farmhouse and described his kill to the farmer. "It had two saggy tits, a beard, a hard head and it stunk like hell!" said the boy. "Oh, shit!" said the farmer. "You've shot the wife!"

Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking. After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest. Bob says to Fred, "I'm not feeling to good." Fred says, "Well, we can walk back to the truck." Bob says, "Yeah lets do that." So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911. The operator answers and says, "911, what's your emergency?" Fred says, "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do I do?" Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead." Fred says, "Ok." The operator listens and hears a BANG!!! Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"

Mike and Bill are hanging out in the lone bar in a one-horse town in northern Idaho, when a local rancher walks in carrying a wolf pelt. "Good work!" says the bartender. He pops the cash register open, pulls out a wad of bills, and counts them out into the rancher's outstretched hand. After the rancher leaves, Mike asks the bartender, "What was that all about?" The barkeep says, "Haven't you boys heard? We got us a real wolf problem in these parts, and the county ain't done a thing about it. Why, just last week, a pack of the damn varmints came onto my property and laid waste t'my chicken coop. Ol' Man Miller down the road even lost four of his cattle to the bloodthirsty beasts! They're vicious, and they got no fear -- and they gotta be stopped. So I'm offerin' a bounty -- a hundred dollars to anybody who brings in a wolf pelt." Mike and Bill look at each other, and immediately race out of the bar to go hunt wolves. After wandering around the hills for several hours, they finally spot a lone wolf in the distance. Mike takes aim with his rifle and shoots the wolf dead. The two fellas sprint over to where the carcass lay, and Mike gets busy with the pelt. Suddenly, Bill says, "Hey, Mike, look." "Not now," says Mike, "I'm busy." Bill tugs on Mike's sleeve and says, "Mike, I think you really ought to see this." "Not now!" Mike says again. "Can't you see I've got a hundred dollars in my hands?" Bill's voice starts to waver. "Mike, please, just look!" Mike stops what he's doing and looks up: The two men are surrounded by a pack of wolves -- at least fifty in all, every one of them growling, drooling, gnashing their teeth, and licking their chops. Mike takes in the sight and gasps: "Oh, my God... We're gonna be rich!"

Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”