Winning a Pro Golf Tournament

Q: These days, what do you need to shoot to win a professional golf tournament?
A: Tiger Woods.

Ladies Golf

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go? The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round, adding the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.
The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders.
The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders. The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long.
The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left. He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"?"
The bartender simply smiled and said, "A 'Rider" is when you hit a shot long enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball.

Golfing with Doc...

I was playing golf with my doctor friend one day.  He ALWAYS hit his drives right down the middle of the fairway.  My problem was that I ALWAYS hooked my ball completely off the fairway.  I asked him for help, and he offered to give me a physical to see if he could determine the problem.  Sure enough, he said that I had three times the "normal length" of the average male, which caused an anomaly in my swing that caused me to hook.  I asked him to help me, and he agreed to do surgery -- provided that I didn't play golf for four weeks. I agreed. Golf is just that important to me.  Four weeks later, new body and all, I teed off on the first hole and drove the ball 270 yards right down the middle. Feeling elated, I thanked the doctor.  Then I asked him what had become of the "rest" of me.  He just smiled, teed his ball, then hit it...and watched it duck hook two fairways away...