If Radio Shack Made Toasters...

If Radio Shack made toasters, the staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.

Rug Farts

A woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up at that moment. As she turns back, standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day, how may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, she asks, "Sir, how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady if you farted just touching it, you're gonna shit in your pants when you hear what the price is."

The Signatures Match

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.