What's He Up To

Q: How can you tell if a man's playing around?
A: He sends you love notes that are photocopied and begin with the line, "To whom it may concern..."

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve!

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

1. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions
2. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.
3. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.
4. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
5. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.
6. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
7. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
8. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
9. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"
10. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, "I can do better than THAT!"

Men & Women Compared!

NICKNAMES:

If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.  But if Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out for a beer, they will affectionately refer to each other as LardAss, Butt-Breath, Peanut-Head and Useless.
EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.  When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.  The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!
DRESSING UP:

A man will dress up for weddings, funerals. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
LOOKS:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. (I invite any woman to prove me wrong! :)