Busted

My boss, who is a hot lady, caught me in the shower room after work. She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?" I replied, "Certainly," and took it off. Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well. Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too. Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"

Space Shuttle Mission

There's a space shuttle mission to the moon with 2 monkeys and a woman on board. The headquarters in the US calls: "Monkey #1, Monkey #1 report to communications for instructions." He sits down and is told to release the pressure in compartment 1, increase the temperature in engine 4 and to release oxygen to the reactors. The monkey does as he is told. A few moments later headquarters calls again: "Monkey #2, Monkey #2 report to comms for instructions." He sits down and he is told to add Carbon Dioxide to room 4, to stop the fuel injection to engine 3, to add nitrogen to the fuel compartment and to analyse the solar radiation. The monkey does the carbon dioxide, the fuel injection, the nitrogen and the analysis of solar radiation. A little later on, headquarters calls again: "Woman, woman please report to comms for instructions." She sits down and just as she is about to be told what to do she says..... "I know, I know!! Feed the monkeys, and don't touch a damn thing."

Way To Her Heart?

Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart?
A: Straight through the rib cage.