Having A Baby Is Like

What a mother once told her teenage daughter about how it felt to have a baby: "It's kinda like trying to pass a watermelon through a keyhole."

Men Are Like UFOs

Q: How are men like UFOs?
A: You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

Busted

My boss, who is a hot lady, caught me in the shower room after work. She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?" I replied, "Certainly," and took it off. Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well. Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too. Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"