Sex Jokes - Prostitute Jokes

Q: How did Jared Fogle from Subway start and end his career?

A: Trying to get into smaller pants.

Fred, Bob and Mike visit a whorehouse. Fred comes out of the first bedroom and says, "She put a powdered donut on my d**k." Bob comes out of the second bedroom and says, "She put a glazed donut on my d**k." Mike comes out of the third bedroom, holding two dollars. Fred and Bob ask, "Did she donut you?" "No" says Mike, "she told me to go and buy a box of Cheerios."

An Alabama man turned 18 and went to a local house of ill repute to experience his first sexual experience with a partner. He approached the madam and shyly asked if he could retain the services of one of her fine ladies. The Madam was happy to oblige and started to rattle off a list of services that could be purchased: straight lovemaking, 69, bj etc. Except for the lovemaking he was unaware of what all of the other services mentioned were, but was very curious. After she rattled off the menu the shy polite southern boy graciously asked for "that 69 thing" totally unaware what that might be. The Madam charged the boy and directed him to the room where this wonderful act would take place. Upon entering the room the boy was immediately pleased by the sight of his purchase and she asked him to disrobe and join her on the bed. As she was already naked, it seemed alright so he did as he was told and meekly joined her in bed and pulled the sheet over himself. Without warning the lady pulled off the sheet, flipped around and assumed the position. Other than being shocked by the predicament he found himself in he was pleased at the sensation and shock soon turned to pleasure. Shortly after this started the lady let out a small fart. The boy immediately noticed and although it was unpleasant he quickly forgot about it and continued. A short bit later the lady repeated this and again although it made him a bit sick to his stomach the rest of the activity was so pleasurable that he dismissed it. About a minute passed and the boy was now very excited and enjoying his purchase very much when without warning the lady dropped ass again and this time it seemed, at least to the boy that it was getting much more vile and unbearable so much so that he tapped the lady on the butt, signaling to stop and said in his most polite southern accent "Mam, I appreciate what you are tryin' to do for me and all, but I don't think I can stand 66 more of these"

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins. "How am I doing?" He asks. "Three knots," she replies. "Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."

A man approaches a prostitute:

"How much for a blow job?"

"$30"

"Can you do 20?"

"Sure"

"Great here's $600"